Years ago when talking about how crappy British cars are, a friend asked me, “You know why the British drink warm beer, don’t you?”
“Why no, I don’t.”
“It’s because they make refrigerators, too.”
And television journalists.
There is something — many things really — about that Piers Morgan person that annoy me. I cannot imagine the thinking behind the decision to have him replace Larry King. Especially when he goes prattling on about gun control, challenging his guests who hold a worldview different than his on the matter: “What could possibly be wrongheaded with one more itsy bitsy teenie weenie gun law, sir?” I want to smack him. I want to reach into the TV, grab him by his Jolly Ol’ lapels and say, “Look, if it weren’t for the fact that your bloody ancestors got a bit pissy with mine over a couple hundred years ago, we, modern Americans, may have a different attitude all together about guns in this country.”
Breathe. Just breathe.
….
Happy Wife was gifted with an Impatiens plant on Mother’s Day at one of our favorite water holes:
Not because she’s a mother, not technically, but because the generosity of the day tends to spill over to thanks for aunts and all other women who express maternal qualities.
We’ve been working on the beach house lately, prepping the floor for installation of the wood stove later this month, painting throughout, a new window blind or two, and we’re taking up the dingy carpet and replacing it with wood flooring. Or at least faux wood. There are entire aisles now in the big box improvement stores devoted to faux this and faux that. Why use real wood, stone, or tile when the fake stuff will fool any casual observer. And it’s cheaper and guaranteed for life. Which, now that I think about it, what does that really mean, legally speaking? I mean, who’s life, the buyer of the product? So if I lay the floor and die the following week and the flooring starts to come up, the company can say, “Sorry, dude’s dead. Warranty’s expired.”
Anyhoo, we’re leaning toward installing a faux wood product that we saw in a new brew pub that opened recently in Seward, which has already become a favorite watering hole away from home (Anchorage). Happy Wife loved it, and I have to say it does look really nice, easy to install, inexpensive, and even when you’re told it’s vinyl it’s hard to believe.
Which set me to wondering, in a world of simulated products, what if you wanted to lay, say, a vinyl floor? Is there an aisle, I wonder, at Home Depot devoted to faux vinyl — wood made to look like vinyl? Imagine the permutations.