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Wednesday, January 11, 2006

The Real Reason It's Warm 

  Belie winter. That's what green grass, panting dogs, short sleeves, and fifty three degree days do. At any moment I half expect to see a horde of chicken little Earth Firsters surfing the leading crest of a catastrophic wave sweeping over downtown Cleveland, shouting at the top of their lungs, "We told you so!" Featuring Dennis Quaid, of course. 

   Haven't seen a flake of snow for almost a month now, not when it's over forty degrees, or over fifty like today, and supposedly tomorrow too. Maybe this is Lake Effect as well? More likely volcanoes. Did you see Augustine in Alaska went off today? She belched up a plume thirty thousand feet, no doubt emitting enough sulfur dioxide and hydrogen sulfide to warm us another degree. Imagine 1012 cans of hair spray suddenly emptied at once.

   Nothing defiles nature so well as herself.

   Update:

The results, published in the current edition of Nature, imply "future atmospheric warming greater than is presently predicted, as aerosol emissions continue to decline," suggests the team, led by Nicolas Bellouin at Britain's Meteorological Office in Exeter.


10:14:06 PM    Comments disabled


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      FAQ

What's an Upright?

Upright: noun : a by and large bipedal companion, also referred to as a human being.

What's a Cheechako?

Cheechako: noun : a person new to Alaska who has come with the intention to live here.

Who's Master?

Master: pronoun : just the finest upright on the face of the earth, that's who! To read him is to love him.

What's Dogdom?

Dogdom: noun : Life's venue from a dog's point of view.

What's a Sourdough?

Sourdough: noun : A long time Alaskan who has an automatic suspicion of cheechakos.

What does Outside mean?

Outside: noun : A provincial reference to somplace other than Alaska; usually the lower 48.

What's Breakup?

Breakup: noun : A uniquely Alaskan season between winter and spring when the snow and ice begins to melt for good.

Where is SquareBanks?

SquareBanks: slang : A self-evident euphemism for a place widely known as Fairbanks, AK.

Where can I read the Houston Trip?

Houston Trip: vignette : Here

What digital camera do you use?

Camera: hardware : Canon Powershot A80 (4.0 MP)

Who's Mom?

Mom: Hottie : Have A Look

What's a Squeakamunka?

Squeakamunka: noun : your ordinary gray squirrel which can be seen everywhere in our Cleveland neighborhood!


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