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Sunday, April 16, 2006 Smashing    There you have it, Spring -- as in I promise I'll not let winter snatch me away again Spring. Blooming trees don't lie, especially a Magnolia as pretty as this one. Just up the street from .edu, and mere blocks from our house. In the beginning, beauty and truth were associated by design, see one and you could be sure of the other, that is until the serpent tempted the virgin, after which it was a downhill slide. Or, if you prefer the naturalistic hypothesis of our origins, then beauty and truth diverged somewhere on the gradient of reproductive success. Either way the separation came as a tremendous disappointment.    While coming or going from the grocery store Saturday we saw some putz victimized by their own car alarm. Boy was that satisfying. Spastic lights flashing, along with a continuously variable whoop-whoop-whoop that could be heard for blocks. Inside, the putative owner, evidently feeling the opprobrium of passersby, could be seen spastically flailing away, "How do I stop this damn thing?!" Hoisted by their own petard as they say. On the other hand, maybe the person in the car wasn't in fact the owner. Maybe it was a thief. It doesn't matter, those damn alarms are so annoying and the false positive rate so high that nobody pays attention anymore. If the goal is to have people stop and call the police, then replace that obnoxious alarm with the quavering voice of an innocent child, "Help me, I'm being stolen."    Watching a Libertarian file their taxes is like watching a Hindu get a gavage of hamburger. 'Tis triply aggravating when supposed "public servants" are getting a return (!) that dwarfs most people's life savings. What's worse, unlike Alaska where only the feds are in your pocket, here in Ohio the state takes a cut of your income, as does the municipality. Who's next, the local grocer?    Ending on a positive note, the wedding draws ever closer. The ring bands were purchased yesterday, as was N's Italian-crafted sui generis knee-length taffeta dress. Reportedly, when she emerged from the dressing room to consult the mirror, the male companions of female window shoppers became suddenly weak-kneed at the site of her, and melted right there on the sidewalk.    Alaska here they come! 5:21:07 PM    Comments disabled © Copyright 2008 Rufus. Nonsense, distribute widely and freely! Last update: 7/26/2008; 10:57:45 AM.			Readers Amused       Home About Me Airedale Philosophy How this all got started       FAQ What's an Upright? Upright: noun : a by and large bipedal companion, also referred to as a human being. What's a Cheechako? Cheechako: noun : a person new to Alaska who has come with the intention to live here. Who's Master? Master: pronoun : just the finest upright on the face of the earth, that's who! To read him is to love him. What's Dogdom? Dogdom: noun : Life's venue from a dog's point of view. What's a Sourdough? Sourdough: noun : A long time Alaskan who has an automatic suspicion of cheechakos. What does Outside mean? Outside: noun : A provincial reference to somplace other than Alaska; usually the lower 48. What's Breakup? Breakup: noun : A uniquely Alaskan season between winter and spring when the snow and ice begins to melt for good. Where is SquareBanks? SquareBanks: slang : A self-evident euphemism for a place widely known as Fairbanks, AK. Where can I read the Houston Trip? Houston Trip: vignette : Here What digital camera do you use? Camera: hardware : Canon Powershot A80 (4.0 MP) Who's Mom? Mom: Hottie : Have A Look What's a Squeakamunka? Squeakamunka: noun : your ordinary gray squirrel which can be seen everywhere in our Cleveland neighborhood! « Alaska Blogs »  Stories Fiction Boy Wonder Bat Girl Objects in Mirror Are Larger Than They Appear Used To Be Fish Skin Deep Essay Life Is Good Desert Nostalgia A Voice of Reason Fictional Four Realms of Darkness Poetry Lucky Chain  The Cycling Pages 1999 Canadian Tour 2000 Tour of Alaska "Yooper" : 2001 Tour of WI/Michigan UP 2001 Spine of Italy Tour 2002 Tour of New England 2004 Tour of New Zealand (coming soon!) 2005 Tour Of Nova Scotia Conways Game of Life (needs java plugin) Sometimes Interesting Billy Greg (Hiatus) Virginia Postrel Wendy McElroy Samizdata Atlantic Monthly Reason No Treason Slashdot Derke Lowe Heather Champ (Photo blog) T.C. Boyle Liquid Generation Improved Clinch Exquisite Corpse, A. Codrescu Fred On Everything Assymetrical Information The Daily Ablution (Hibernation) Lileks Frank Kelly (Hiatus) Up In Alaska